By valuing yourself, you valued what he taught you, despite the great suffering. It's a great life lesson to learn and understand in all relationships. I've chased after people who could never reciprocate or love me, and I've learned to value myself enough to no longer try. It's a horrible miserable game. Letting go and seeking real connection and love is what heals, not clutching to someone who can never give those things to us. That is really valuing ourselves to know we do deserve better.