Fascinating enthralling read. So full of human insight and bravery. Pride got in your way of turning back and it was sad how you initially felt telling your mother about going away, secretly hoping she would stop you. I've often had such feelings and they are very self-alienating. Then you have to keep up the brave face despite inner conflict. I love how you say towards the end that it was your mum who made you love Paris to start with and all she did for you on your childhood visits to Paris, paying, etc. You wanted to prove your independence in Paris maybe, and maybe why you didn't accept the hospitality of young woman in furniture store, as it reminded you of when your mum took care of you in Paris. I think you wanted to do something for yourself regardless of the risks.