I think I understand the fear you speak about, it's like an uneasiness, and lack of peace. But from experience, and I'm not young, I would say don't give away your peace. Hold onto it tight. The reason you could be giving it away maybe more to do with a lack of self worth and value. It's not at all easy affirming your self-worth, I know how tremendously difficult it can be, but determination and persistence will pay off. Hold onto your peaceful boundaries. Don't justify giving away your peace out of insecurity. It can take a long time to feel inner security and that's the big turning point you need to embrace. You are still very young and life will throw obstacles that you need to overcome with a peaceful and secure mindset. Your childhood was far from secure and was chaotic, as you said, with fear being instilled in you from an early age. It would be good to consider counselling at this stage, as you've had a major stressful event and it's bringing up many other issues.