I think that advice is good. Don't take responsibility for everything. Your partner is an adult, like you. If anyone's intentions are bad, it usually always comes back to them in the end. I used to feel a need to make it known how someone's bad behaviour affected me, but the wise thing to do is let them find out themselves, and sometimes they do.

Even if your partner's intentions were nothing remotely bad, you can't control what her needs are and so she's respecting you more because she feels she can trust you with her needs to go out with her friends. The opposite is true also, if you weren't able to trust her and kept controlling, it would destroy the relationship. I think people learn better by their own mistakes, as much as you want to protect them. You may find that you think quite similar, but don't control things, as that creates tension and distrust, which isn't healthy.