It's wonderful you have got to this place in your life, so fulfilled, learning and growing. Loving your job and your new life and you can stand back and appreciate it all. Being honest I find this very difficult to do now, and know I am not following this advice and living in the present. There is something about my life that stops me doing it. I always feel some kind of loss but usually I overcome those feelings and get on with it, but recently I had a traumatic experience that threw me completely out of sync. It truly was trauma, as I know it affected me in every way, and my nervous system went into overdrive immediately in fight or flight mode, and now more shut down. Luckily I have insight into the biological aspects of trauma and can recognise the different stages but the fact that it's repeated trauma makes it even worse. I wish I could free my mind from all this and value myself and the positive things in my life I have achieved. It’s very difficult to do that when someone constantly is constantly devaluing me.