Stephan, this is such a beautiful story. It had me in tears. I don't normally cry reading stories but I did with this one. It's so amazing that yourself and your wife went to such great lengths to bond and get to know Daniel before all the bureaucracy took place. Those photos are beautiful and show such a happy well adjusted family.

I know as an adoptee, I can have certain views on adoption. Being born in the 1960's in a rural setting and Mother and Baby Institution in Ireland where cruelty and abuse was the "norm", it was an entirely different situation. After I was surrendered for adopted, I spent 4 weeks in hospital, being very ill due to neglect of the Mother and Baby Home and then later went to my adoptive parents. There was absolutely no such thing as bonding, playing with children, and the process with totally different. Just one of two visits to the orphanage I was in was enough. Later the legal paperwork was completed. There was no real getting to know the baby (I was only a couple of months old when I went to my adoptive parents, but the adoption wasn't finalised until the following year. There was very sparse knowledge about my birth parents, and absolutely no medical history. The law in Ireland has not allowed adoptees their identity rights and only changed in 2022 when it was far too late. I've never met or known either my birth parents, but did have contact with some half siblings on my mother's side. Up until 2022 I wasn't allowed unredacted information about my birth father.

I've written a couple of stories on Medium about my adoption, not that many (but hope to write more). You might want to check it out. I don't want to post a link here. I wrote one a while ago about being born into a Magdalene Laundry/Mother and Baby Home and the nature of the sealed closed adoption system, the punitive attitude of the Catholic nuns who ran it and lifetime trauma of not having my full identity disclosed. I know my birth mother also suffered terribly with depression and anxiety after what she went through in Mother and Baby home. She was forced to change her name and wear a uniform, received no pain medication and subjected to hard physical labour during her stay.

Your adoption story is in such contrast where there was nothing but love and understanding. Adopting children is always challenging but if it's done in a proper way that is respectful to all parties, it makes a very different story.