Thanks Amelie, it is scary to confront the abuse if living with someone, and can be dangerous but equally dangerous staying with them. The "justification" period is when there is denial (ie) they just had a bad day, they aren't normally like that, they've done so much to help me, and even believing the person loves them. Self deception is the worst. Nobody who abuses you loves you, and it is often those who lack self esteem, who can't accept the truth. I really think self deception is a big factor in all abusive relationships, physical or emotional. One clings to the idea that the person still loves them, when all reality shows it isn't true. Self love is lacking and they can't accept those who abuse them don't love them. It is this mental distortion of reality that causes peoole to cling and stay with those they should've left as soon as they started being abused.