This is excellently expressed in such thoughtful words. It is exactly how you describe. As an adoptees I never met my birth mum. Last time I saw her was at 2 weeks old in a Mother and Baby home run by Nuns in 1960's. I don't remember her or where I was born. I was in hospital for 4 weeks after that and infant nursery before my adoption. My mother, I was told by half siblings, was told similar. Lots of mothers are LIED to like this, and develop imposter syndrome believing every other mother would be better for their child than them. They are made to believe they don't deserve their child and in 1960s in rural communities where my BM was from, it was a huge social stigma. She had to lie to neighbours etc about the truth, and I was a big secret. I am glad you found psychological closure realising it wasn't God's will that your son was taken from you and given to another mother. There were societal and other issues beyond your control at play.