You've done very well explaining this so eloquently. It's one of those things that easily goes under the radar, as on the surface it seems innocent enough. But it's about treating people as objects, not humans. I know, because I've experienced this too, in a relationship that was always very difficult. Coincidentally, the very last time I met this person, they also couldn't look me in the eye either, which I found strange. I think it's a sign of guilt or hiding some ulterior motive. My experience with this person also led me to believe they are used to getting away with their behaviour.